Context: so i’ve been lucid dreaming on accident for a while now but didn’t have a clue what to do during the dreams. lately my dreams have been stressful and or frightenin, so i just want to have some type of hold over them , because i’m tired of waking up in distressed. i’m new to this site so i have sooo many questions . lately people been trying to kill me and i’m not aware that i’m dreaming until i feel like that person is getting closer to killing me so i try to open and close my eyes really hard,to wake up. it never works but one time i died and instantly woke up.
Dream: ive had about 2-3 dreams about the same cop trying to kill me and each time he killed me . the last dream i had was me on my way walking to a store close to my neighborhood, where id have to cross a busy road. so i’m walking on the backroad and nothing looks too unfamiliar to me b.c again , im thinking i’m in my neighborhood but things were probably so off (wasn’t aware ). im walking and i look on the side of me , where there is an open field with few tress ; the same exact cop from my last dream(s) . so once i seen the cop , he kept his eyes on my as i kept walking , i didn’t run or anything. but when i seen him , i instantly assumed it was a dream , so i said to myself “this got to be a dream” . as im walking , he’s not following me or anything but he is still looking at me .( now remember from my context , i have been experiencing stressful dreams). so as i cross the street i see a truck heading my way so instantly stand in front of it , waiting for it to hit me. now y’all are probably like “wth , suicide” but remember ; from my context ,i had died and instantly woke up after . i just didn’t want to have to go through the stress of running away and being hunted down.
*SN ; i didn’t instantly die when the truck ran me over , i was very much still alive and didn’t wake till shortly after . i didnt feel not one thing when i git hit
QUESTION:
is it bad to kill yourself/die in a LD ?
2. when you have a “regular dream” , do you just become aware that you’re dreaming at some point and then it becomes lucid or do you instantly have a LD and already aware ? idk if that makes since
Once again, please keep in mind that I'm by no means an expert. I'm also sick with the flu at the moment, so I don't think I'll be able to address your entire post -- apologies for that. With that out of the way:
I may have misread you here, but to me, these sound like recurring (non-lucid) nightmares, or nightmares where you slip in and out of lucidity? I have a lot of similar types of nightmares at times, and lucidity would help combat them.
When you gain lucidity and realise you're dreaming, do you generally take a minute to remind yourself of what that means? If not, it sounds to me like you'd benefit greatly from doing so. Knowing for a fact that you are dreaming should also mean knowing that nothing can harm you at the moment. Everything you're experiencing is a creation of your own mind. Of course, this only applies when you have the time and are able to verify beyond any shadow of a doubt that you are indeed dreaming. If you don't have the time because you're in danger, my gut feeling is you should always seek safety first. Your safety and health should always come before lucid dreaming.
In the dream where the policeman wasn't following you, perhaps you could have made sure you were safe, and then performed a reality test. And, like I say, when you had confirmation that you were dreaming, I think it would have been wise to remind yourself what that means. Daniel Love has created a few videos on how to "ground yourself" when you realise that you are dreaming, and how to remind yourself what that knowlegde entails. I'll link a couple of videos that you may find helpful below -- though please note that at the moment, these are only available to members of the channel.
[Video available to channel members] Was That a Lucid Dream?
[Video available to channel members] How To Lucid Dream LONGER For Beginners (The ULTIMATE Guide)
[Video available to channel members] Do THIS to have VIVID Lucid Dreams!
Another thing I wanted to touch on is negative expectation. Do you think it might be possible that you've sort of caught yourself in a loop of negative expectation when it comes to these nightmares? If so, perhaps you could work towards breaking away from that expectation loop. I won't claim to know how you should do this, though. as I don't know you, and, again, I am no expert on psychology.
Finally, I'd like to mention that there's a great section in Daniel Love's book Are You Dreaming? on overcoming nightmares (pp. 211-215). There's also a very good section on grounding yourself when you've gained lucidity -- what he calls the "pre-flight check" (pp. 168-169). If you own a copy, I encourage you to review these passage again, as he can explain all of these things much better than I ever could.
I hope this helps a little -- I'll just add one last reminder that I am no expert, so please don't treat what I've said here as if I were!